The Expendables (2010)

Bad boys? Bad-ass? No. Just plain bad! Ok, it is not THAT bad. It is as bad (or as good), as any other testosterone action movie made by one of the multiple action actors who enter on this film. One would think that the ensemble cast would produce at least an increase in value of the action production, but nothing can save a bad screenplay, not even the action brilliant 15 minute final assault scene, where knifes, guns and all kinds of explosions known to man are combined to give at least something entertaining, cool, an worth the price of the ticket. Ok, so Sly did a good casting job. Everybody was there except Seagal and Van Damme (both declined), and Chuck Norris (who probably no one remembered to hire). But with that cast he had to deliver the greatest action movie ever seen. He had to! But we cannot forget that writing was never Stallone's major talent. So what do we get? We get off course an introduction mission, where we can see the who's who of the team. Then back at home, and this really bothers me, they try to give it some personal angle. The relation to the girlfriend, the "oh I can't take the job anymore, this will be the last mission" bullshit, that, if written badly, makes one throw up instead of feeling the characters. I don't feel these characters. They are killing machines that in the spare time between action scenes say some profound cliché things to give them some scope that they will never have in a million years. Give them guns and knifes and a ton of explosives. Don't give them sentimental lines! The only believable one is Mickey Rourke, but that is because he is a great actor! So this takes a lot of screen time (more than it should), and then comes the real mission, in a funny little scene between Sly, Bruce Willis and Arnie. Ok, Arnold Schwarzenegger is just there making fun of himself, and it is actually kind of cute and all, but completely irrelevant to the story. Worth seeing anyway, just for the forced shot of Sly and Arnie in the same frame, proving that they actually were together. Yeah! All righty! Let's move forward! So, go the mission, at last?! No! First they do a reconnaissance job, just Sly and Jason Statham. There is a Gulf spanish speaking island where there is a dictator, and a drug plantation, and a strange american in a suit that can be CIA or not, yadda yadda yadda... nothing new. So they go there, meet Giselle Itié, blow half the place, and escape, but Giselle stays behind. Were they framed or not? They should quit and not do the real mission, right? No, because they got attached to Giselle, and off they go again, with all the team, and this time is personal. And here yes, 15 glorious minutes of action and explosions, to all the man out there to enjoy. Besides that, pretty bad stuff. There are off course other things and plot twists and one or two fights but you get the point. When they are fighting the movie is good. When they are not it is completely expendable (ahaha). More action could be used, especially taking advantage of the various specialities of the cast. But what do you know... they actually wanted to give it a story and a human interest. Looks like when Seagal tries to make those environmental friendly pictures. Anyway, I am extremely disappointed. I was expecting the ultimate action film, and got just another one to see and forget.